Give me a home where the buffalo roam...
Ever since I was just a little baby, I've been entranced by absolutely everything that lay outside the walls of our home. Every spare second I had was spent outside among the flowers and dirt and trees. I've always loved to feel the air on my face and grass between my toes.
I used to watch the world from the safety of my mother's pouch, too frightened to be outside in the world, but once I got a taste of that freedom I couldn't ever go back. I spend my days planning out the life I want to have, the wild life with nothing holding me down. And at night my dreams become a reality! I can live anywhere, see anything! Climb any mountain, scale any cliff, even watch a thousand sunsets in a day.
No matter where my dreams take me, I know exactly where my heart lies.
One day I'm going to live in Wyoming! But not just anywhere, oh no. My home will be inside Yellowstone itself! In Mammoth Hot Springs, to be exact, is where I'll make my home. Every day I'll visit Angel Terrace, I'll watch the Blue Springs, I'll walk along Travertine Terrace. Each and every single day of my life will be perfect.
Any time I want I'll be able to explore the park, my park, my home. Nothing short of Mother Nature herself will be able to stop me from watching Old Faithful shoot into the sky. From visiting Grand Prismatic Spring, Emerald Spring, Lion Geyser, Opal Pool, Sapphire Pool, or even my beloved Chromatic Spring! I'll be able to sit there, all day if I want, just watching my springs bubble and steam.
I could go see my Grand Teton whenever the need arose. I could learn every quirk of every mountain range - Absaroka, Gallatin, Washburn, even the Red Mountains! Not a single thing would keep me from my rocky summits.
I can learn every inch of Yellowstone, until I know it better than I even know myself. The longing, the intense need, I have to be back there never leaves me. I try to distract myself, do all I can locally, but nothing can even begin to compare.
The wait I have no choice but to endure haunts me each and every day. One day Yellowstone will be mine and I'll love her, but for now I just have to hope my heart doesn't burst as I wait...
Even though the wait is hard, almost impossible sometimes, I try as hard as I can to be ready for the day I can finally call Wyoming my home. While I wait oh so impatiently for that first sunrise, I'm preparing with every fiber of my being.
I've read every book about the area I can get my hands on so lately I've been focusing on the real skills. Becoming an expert hiker, identifying plants at a glance, making fire in all the conditions I'm allowed to be in, constructing shelter from nothing, even tracking animal prints!
Momma once told me she's so proud of how incredibly passionate I am, which are words I carry with me every day. Even when its hard, even when I feel like I'll never learn, even when I feel like Wyoming is just a fantasy, I know my passion will guide me through.
I've read every book about the area I can get my hands on so lately I've been focusing on the real skills. Becoming an expert hiker, identifying plants at a glance, making fire in all the conditions I'm allowed to be in, constructing shelter from nothing, even tracking animal prints!
Momma once told me she's so proud of how incredibly passionate I am, which are words I carry with me every day. Even when its hard, even when I feel like I'll never learn, even when I feel like Wyoming is just a fantasy, I know my passion will guide me through.
Not everyone understands my passion for the wilderness, my innate need to be out there among the brush. It can make friendships hard, given my complete inability to shut up about it.
Sometimes... sometimes I even worry my family is sick of it. Tired of hearing the same plan, tired of learning about the same springs, tired of seeing photos of the same mountains, just tired of it. But when I see their eyes light up, their interest piqued, the questions start pouring out... all my worries are washed away.
Without their love, without their support, even when I'm at my most annoying... I don't know what I'd do. My dreams are so big, so bright, so bold, but I've never once felt like they were impossible.
Like the rest of my family, I grew up with rhythm in my step and a song on my lips. I love the feel of music pumping through my skin, the electric taste of air at a sold out concert, the gentle lullaby of a familiar song as I fall asleep....
But I just can't seem to find my instrument, the one that really fits me. I've tried more than I can count. Piano, guitar, saxophone, trumpet, keyboard, even my own voice! None of them work, none of them are right.
I'm trying so hard with my clarinet and flute right now. They're such beautiful instruments with such great possibilities, but I'm worried I'll fail again. My biggest fear is disappointing my parents... I'm worried they'd be so sad if I'm terrible at music....
But I just can't seem to find my instrument, the one that really fits me. I've tried more than I can count. Piano, guitar, saxophone, trumpet, keyboard, even my own voice! None of them work, none of them are right.
I'm trying so hard with my clarinet and flute right now. They're such beautiful instruments with such great possibilities, but I'm worried I'll fail again. My biggest fear is disappointing my parents... I'm worried they'd be so sad if I'm terrible at music....
When it comes to family I don't think I could ever truly express how much mine mean to me.
Even though we don't always get along, even though sometimes I'd rather punch my sister than play with her, even though sometimes I'm so angry at them I just have to scream into my pillow... I love them.
They're not perfect, but I don't want them to be. Imperfections - differences - are what makes things beautiful.